The idea of an option adoption seems to be more and more popular. The decision to give up a child is usually not one that any parent can do easily. Still, they may realize that it is the best thing they can do for their child at this point in their life. They want to know who is going to care for their child though so they don’t just give them up and then wonder if they made the right choice.
With an open adoption, the parents that gave up the child will know where their child is and who they are with. In many of these cases they will meet with the adoptive parents many times before deciding that is the right how for their child. They want to be sure they give their child every opportunity to have a wonderful life. However, open adoption isn’t a good idea if you want to have your complete privacy. Are you willing to allow the real parents to have some type of interaction with your child? If not, then this isn’t the form of adoption you should be pursuing.
Should you be open to the idea of this form of adoption you certainly want to make sure the guidelines are clear to all parties involved. You don’t want to feel like you are merely the caregiver for a child instead of their actual parent. There are many different levels of open adoption that need to be considered. The level of communication you have with the real parents about the child should be explored.
For example with some open adoptions the birth mother is able to send letters to the child. In exchange she gets information on the child’s development and milestones. She also gets some photos at regular intervals. When the child gets old enough they may get to choose if they want to meet their birth mother or at least to write her letters. With other forms of open adoption there is much less communication that goes on.
Don’t agree to any form of open adoption if you aren’t really comfortable with it. Some people do because the desire to adopt a child is so important to them. However, they later on regret the fact that they have committed their family to such obligations. They may regret that they have to continue this bond with the people that gave up the child.
Other people are very compassionate though when it comes to an open adoption. They understand that it is extremely difficult for someone to give up a child. However, they are also very grateful for the chance to raise that child as their own. They want to keep that person involved in the child’s life as much as they can. Even with the best of intentions though situations can arise that are difficult.
For example the biological parents and the adoptive parents may have different ideas on how the child should be raised. This can lead to plenty of tension and anxiety in the household for all involved. An open adoption should only be accepted after both parties have attended counseling. Legal counsel should also be looking over the documents to make sure they can be upheld in a court of law.